How to be a good listener and manage to see other people’s lives throw their stories?
Everyone is in need to share something of themselves, stories of the day, something that is bothering them, or just something they have to let out.
At the same time, everyone needs a person that is willing to stay and listen to what they are being told, not judging. Every story has its importance and matters in such a different way from others.
Have you ever been told you are a great listener?
If you follow the steps mentioned below, then congrats you are the one people can’t wait to talk to, you are a good listener. If not, please learn how to be a good listener.
How to be a good listener:
Being in the other person’s shoes:
Not everyone experiences the same things in life, even if so, no one handles the same situation in the same way as another. Therefore it is important to try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
Before adding your suggestion towards the story, imagine precisely the same thing happening to you in the circumstances of the person who’s telling the story. This way, being in his shoes, you can clearly give your honest suggestion or opinion regarding a situation.
Make eye contact and most importantly stay focused:
While someone is telling us something, making eye contact sometimes can be deconcentrating. That gets you into the total non-focused condition, and you will lose track of the conversation. It happens to a significant percentage of people that they felt lost in making eye contact during a conversation. Therefore it is essential to know how to stay focused when someone is telling you something. Making eye contact makes you understand their feelings. As we all know, eye contact sometimes is compassionate and intimate. Therefore, making eye contact makes the speaker believe that you are listening and understanding.
Do not compare the person’s experience to your own, or someone else’s:
As told before, no one can handle the same situation in the same way. Some people are stronger than others, some are weaker. No one has any power upon that fact. Comparing cases of yours or someone else’s to the story of the person who is telling you something, lowers the interest of sharing things. This silent distance in conversation happens because everyone must feel and needs to feel like they are one of a kind. Everyone knows about the everyday things that happen in life with other people. Nobody wants to be compared nor find the solution in other people’s stories.
Listening using body language:
While listening to someone, most probably, you will find yourself nodding or making another body gesture.
This body language makes the speaker know if you are following the story or not. By doing this thing with your body language, try not to exaggerate it. It might confuse the storyteller. Keep it calm and show up very peaceful, show them you are in the mood to listen to whatever they are about to tell you. Make sure you give the most sincere opinion afterward.
Being a good listener is not the easiest thing to do. It means being supportive, most of the time, in silence. A good listener will always remain to be the therapy needed for someone that is craving to express what’s blowing their minds. Being a good listener also helps you to create good relationships with people around you, try it as much as you can. People need to talk to someone who listens, and sometimes so do you.